My family was a traditional one. I grew up in a small town, the oldest of three kids. My mom and dad were married when mom was 18 and dad was 21-years-old. Dad worked with his hands as a tile-setter and a carpenter. Mom worked in an office. Their first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, so when mom became pregnant with me, Dad insisted she quit work to decrease stress that may adversely impact the pregnancy. Nine months later, I was born. By the time I was 4 ½ years old, my parents had three kids – me, my 2-year-old brother, and my newborn sister. The decision for mom to become a stay-at-home mom impacted our family’s finances significantly. We relied on hand-me-down clothes, and do-it-yourself haircuts. We grew food in our garden and ate “organic” food way before organic food was cool. I didn’t know my parents struggled. They made us feel rich. Our days were filled with playing outside until it was dark, sit-down dinners, catching fireflies, eating watermelon on the back step while the juice dripped off our elbows, late-night bath time and cozy goodnight rituals. I thought everyone’s family was just like mine.
Family meant living within walking distance of our aunts, uncles and grandparents. It meant regularly getting together with the extended family, with cousins spilling out into the yard because the house couldn’t hold us all. Family meant belonging, feeling safe with my people, feeling protected, and having all the rights and privileges of our large clan.
When the Music Man and I married, we knew we wanted to have children. However, due to me having some medical issues, we were uncertain if we would be able to have homegrown children of our own. We decided very early that we wanted to add to our family through adoption. We had watched a documentary on the plight of children in China. Tens of thousands of baby girls were being killed or abandoned annually in that country simply because of their gender. In China, due to the “one child per family” policy that was strictly enforced, having a son was highly prized. Sons were responsible to take care of their aging parents. Conversely, once a daughter married, she became part of her husband’s family, helping her husband take care of his aging parents. So, for years grieving Chinese families made the horrific decision to abandon these baby girls with the hopes of having a son. When found, these baby girls were sent to Social Welfare Institutions, China’s name for orphanages.
God showed the Music Man and I favor, gifting us with the ability to have two homegrown children. But we knew our family wasn’t complete. Not yet. We just knew our third child was waiting for us in China. So, when we were ready to add child #3 to our crazy family, we began the adoption process.
To be clear, no one in either of our families had ever adopted a child. This journey we were undertaking was uncharted territory for us. We had no idea what we were doing or how it would turn out. We simply said “Yes” when the Spirit of adoption called our names.
Looking back to Q’s “Gotcha Day”, which is the term we affectionately use to refer to the day in China that she was placed in our arms, there were so many thoughts and emotions bombarding us and the other eight families from our agency who were also adopting girls from the same orphanage. There was excitement, fear, and joy. There was so much joy. This little person, who just 5 minutes before had the title of “orphan”, immediately became so much more as we wrapped our arms around her. No longer an orphan, now she was called “forever daughter”, “sister”, “granddaughter” and “niece”. She was called “chosen” and “cherished”. In that moment, her last name became “Nason”, with all the rights and privileges that went along with that name. Adoption became a tangible miracle that day in the life of my newly minted daughter, and in the heart of this grateful momma.
You see, I had heard for most of my life that when we decide to follow Jesus and live for him, that God adopts us into His family, with all the rights and privileges of one of His children. We become not only sons and daughters, but joint-heirs with Jesus. Those sounded like pretty words until I experienced the gift of adoption first-hand in my little family. Suddenly those words came alive with such clarity. That day in China, Q didn’t become our ‘adopted’ daughter. She became our daughter. My love for her is no different than if I had birthed her myself.
God, our Father in Heaven, feels the same way about us. When we make the decision to follow Jesus, God sees us as His kids, and loves us that way too. Galatians 4:5 says, “You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as His own children because God sent the Spirit of His Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you’re also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.” The Message
I heard some staggering statistics recently:
- There are 100,000 children in the U.S. foster system who are free to be adopted.
- There are 400,000 churches in the U.S.
- If one family out of every four churches would adopt one of these children, then all available-to-adopt children in the foster system would have a forever family.
I get excited when I hear these types of statistics. Why? Because meeting the needs of these vulnerable kids is a solvable problem.
A lazy Saturday conversation with the family cat, Duma.
Maybe you didn’t grow up with a positive family experience. Maybe your story is very much different than mine. Maybe you are considering adoption. Maybe you were adopted. Maybe you birthed a child and made the decision to have that child raised by another family. Maybe you struggle with infertility. Maybe you have made the decision to not have children. Maybe you are longing to feel chosen and cherished, a son or daughter of the King.
Be encouraged. You are loved more than you will ever know.
