Mary and the Difficult “Yes”

I have always deeply identified with the Mary of The Bible.  Do you know which Mary I am referring to? Jesus’ mother? As a young teen, I would sit at night in our darkened living room, listening to Christmas music and thinking about what it must have felt like when the angel, Gabriel, came to visit her over 2000 years ago. Later, as a young married woman and as a new mom, I remember playing the role of Mary in our church Christmas pageant.  My first-born son, at 3 months old, even played baby Jesus.  For way too many years, I had a nativity-scene picture of what that first Christmas must have looked like.  In my mind, the sights, smells, and singing angels all were enveloped in an ethereal, rosy glow.

Today is the first day of Advent. As a child, Advent meant little more to me than listening to a boring reading and lighting a special candle in church every Sunday in December. As an adult, Advent has come to mean so much more than that. The word, advent, refers to the introduction of something important. In many Christian churches, Advent involves waiting expectantly for the commemoration of Jesus’ birthday.

As I have begun pondering the Advent season, my thoughts turned again to Mary.  My previous, glamorized version of this young woman and her life could not have been any more off the target.  As a matter of fact, in looking at the many amazing women in the bible, Mary, the mother of Jesus, may have given the most difficult “Yes” in bible history.  

Women born into the first century middle east were born into an honor/shame culture.  Women fell at the bottom of that spectrum.  They had no rights  and were frequently treated in the most abhorrent ways.  There was literally a prayer that Jewish men would pray on a daily basis.  The prayer went something like this: “Thank you, God, for blessing me by not making me a Gentile, a slave, or a woman.”

Mary was born in a time where honor killings occurred. Women and girls who were perceived to bring shame on the family were often victims of these killings Men had the right to divorce their wife for something as silly and insignificant as burning dinner. Girls were betrothed (engaged to be married) as young as 11,12 or 13 years of age. Once a girl reached reproductive maturity and was able to bear a child, the bridegroom would arrive, and the wedding would occur.

The early marriage of a daughter was so prized, that in the Talmud (a written compilation of rabbis in history debating what the Hebrew bible says), it is written that it is better for a father to free one of his slaves for his daughter to marry if she is not betrothed and married by the age of 12 and one-half years.  Can you imagine?  

Mary’s story is introduced in the first chapter of Luke.  It is here we learn that Mary is betrothed to a young man named Joseph.  Did you catch that?  Mary was betrothed…not yet physically mature enough to be married!  Mary was incredibly young, probably a tween by today’s standards. When I played the role of Mary, I was probably 2.5-3 times older than her actual age when Gabriel came to visit her with some very big news.  Mary was a virtual girl-child in a world that did not favor women.  So, when the angel, Gabriel, shows up, calls her by name and tells her she is favored by God, it rocks her world more than a little.  Mary finds herself being honored, seen and spoken to by this special angel in a way she has never experienced before.

Gabriel has a lot to say. You know the story. He explains to Mary that through the Holy Spirit, she will become pregnant with the Son of God. He instructs her to name the baby, Jesus. When she asks how it is possible that she will become pregnant while she is still betrothed, a virgin and not yet married, he responds reassuringly, “Nothing is impossible with God.”

Can you feel the holy tension and divine love in that room in that moment?  Mary has a big decision to make…a life-altering decision.  She may be young, but she knows the world she lives in.  She knows that an unwed mother in her world would bring shame on her family.  She knows the dire consequences that this circumstance could bring.  She could have said, “No.”  I wonder if she considered that option?  What I know is what history records.  Mary said, “Yes.”  Her actual words to Gabriel went something like, “I am the Lord’s servant.  May everything you have said about me come true.”   

The story doesn’t stop here. The Bible goes on to detail how, just a few days later, Mary hurries south from her town of Nazareth to Judea, where her cousin Elizabeth lived. This wasn’t a simple, friendly family visit. This was Mary fleeing for her life. Maybe her family didn’t believe her story. Maybe she was afraid to tell them she was having a baby.

Her time with her cousin provided not just safety, but support (Elizabeth was pregnant, too) and confirmation that what Gabriel said was really true.   

Coincidentally, I recently learned from a trusted bible teacher that there is no Hebrew word for the name, “Mary”. It is believed that her name was actually “Miriam”. Her name was changed to Mary when the Anglicized translation of The Bible was published in the early 1600s.

How about you?  Has God asked you a question that requires a difficult “Yes?”  Saying YES doesn’t mean that life will be easy.  YES sometimes means taking the long way, making the uphill climb, or facing a big challenge with courage you don’t think you possess. 

But Mary’s story inspires me.  Think about it.  When God gives out some of his most important kingdom adventures, He gives them to girls.  Just ask Mary.