COVID-19, sheltering at home and quarantine has caused many of us to share tight quarters with those we love. But close quarters for long periods of time can cause us to begin to focus on ourselves and our needs instead of seeing those who are physically right in front of us. Conversely, some of us are quarantined alone, hearing the deafening silence as we long for someone to share space with who will see us and bring comfort in our time of isolation.
I see you. Have you felt overlooked or invisible? Have you felt like those closest to you don’t know or see the real you? Your dreams? Your emotions? Your struggles? Your fears? Are you longing to be seen, just you, in your purest form?
These questions makes me think of the movie, “Avatar”. This movie’s dialogue features a very prominent phrase: “I see you.” Instead of saying “I love you”, the two main characters, as they fall in love, say “I see you” to each other. But the context of this phrase means so much more than love. It is a verbal confirmation of a bond that is emotional, spiritual and physical. It is confirmation that the person who hears that phrase isn’t just seen but is heard and loved in the deepest and most intimate of ways.
There’s a story in the Bible in the Old Testament about a servant girl named Hagar. Hagar was the servant of Sarah, Abraham’s wife. God had promised to make Abraham a great nation. Yet because he and Sarah were old and infertile, they decided to take matters into their own hands instead of trusting God to allow Sarah to bear a child. Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham with the hopes Hagar would become pregnant.
The plan worked. But once Hagar was pregnant, there was fighting and conflict between her and Sarah. Tensions escalated so badly between the two of them, Hagar ran away into the desert. A pregnant woman, alone in the heat of the desert, is a recipe for disaster or maybe even death. Thankfully, Hagar found a stream. While she was resting there, it says in Genesis 16 that an angel found her. The angel encouraged her to return to Sarah. The angel told Hagar she would have a son who would be the first of more descendants than she could even count. The angel told her to name her son “Ishmael”, which means “God hears”.
From that moment on, Hagar referred to God as “El Roi”, which means “The God who sees”. Hagar was acutely aware God hadn’t just heard her pleas for help, but had seen her in her distress. Hagar felt seen, heard and known by the God of the universe.
Nehemiah, the cup-bearer (think secret service agent), to the king of Persia prayed this prayer in the Book of Nehemiah, verse 6. ‘O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps his promises, look down and “see” me praying night and day for your people.’ Nehemiah knew the secret. When God sees, He acts. Every time. No exception.
The 2020 Lyrid Meteor shower peaks this week. Some star gazers like to call this meteor shower “Old Faithful”. This nickname came about because you can count on the Lyrid Meteor Shower to return to the Earth’s atmosphere and show off every single year.
A couple of nights ago, I went outside about 10 pm, bundled up in a blanket and a knit cap. My son joined me, both of us on a quest to see a meteor streak across the sky. Sitting outside in the dark it was surprisingly quiet, although that quiet was interrupted by treasured and spontaneous conversation that sparked between Brock and me. We chatted as we allowed our eyes to adjust to the darkness while scanning the eastern sky.
“I just saw one!” Brock exclaimed excitedly, pointing to a part of the sky just to the right of where my eyes had been focused. “You did?”, I responded rather dejectedly. “Didn’t you see it, Mom?”, he asked. “No”, I said, but let’s sit out here a little bit longer. I’m sure there will be another one.”
We sat outside in the chilly night air for several more minutes until my darling boy said he was cold and was going to go inside to warm up. I told him I was going to stay outside and watch the sky just a little bit longer. I was cold, too, but I wanted to see a meteor. I NEEDED to see a meteor. Just one.
Once I was alone, as I continued to scan the night sky, I started a conversation with the One who made the stars. “I see You”, I began. “I see You in the flowers I saw coming to life along the path I walked today. I see You in this beautiful sky with all of the twinkling stars. But can I ask You a favor? I see You, but I really need to know You see me too…sitting right here…right now. The world has gone a little mad. In the middle of it all, please let me know you see me. Just one meteor. Please.”
I slumped down and let my head rest on the back of the bench. What I saw in that instant should come as no surprise. A meteor…just one…streaked across the sky. Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed this meteor burned just a little brighter and longer, a wink from El Roi, the God who sees. A wink to let a daughter know she was not only seen, but heard, loved and known . So how did this daughter respond? That’s easy. I smiled, whispered, “Thank you,” and walked back inside the warm house so my outside could match the warm I now felt inside too.
“I stopped waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and let God’s light set my heart on fire instead.”
House of Belonging