The Deep End of the Pool

Beauty in the Broken

One of the first things I would do every morning upon awakening, during my recent vacation, was throw on some shoes and head down to the beach. Each morning I would take a long walk, alone, as the waves lapped at my feet. There was just something so calming and so special about those solitary mornings. The sound of the wind and water was hypnotic. Smiling at the few passers-by that I encountered during my morning jaunt, I would use that time to clear my head, pray, and watch the pelicans glide silently through the air. With wings outstretched, they would fly so low over the water you could almost see their toes dip into the glistening gulf. But my favorite thing to do on those daily walks was look at the shells. As a girl, I would spend hours with a bucket as I examined each shell to find the most perfect and beautiful shells to add to my collection. True to form, during this trip my eyes were once again drawn to the seashells. There were just so many of them! Because of how the gulf would pound the shores during high tide, there were lines of fractured shells the entire length of the beach. The crunch of these broken pieces under my feet would provide an unexpected and soothing soundtrack as I walked.

Don’t get me wrong…there were many “perfect shells”. There were shells that were brightly colored. There were shells that successfully survived, unscathed, the beating of the surf and sand. These shells were lying on the beach in pristine condition, just waiting for the novice or professional shell collector to pluck them from obscurity. These shells knew they would then join that lucky collector’s treasure trove in another home state once the vacation of that treasure hunter ended.

I passed these perfect shells by. This trip, I was drawn to the shells that had taken a beating. I stopped to look more closely at the shells that were bruised and battered. Each day I would pick up one or two of these misfit shells, stick them in my pocket and bring them back to the beach house that was home to me during my stay. Early in the week, a family member asked me after my early walk if I had found some pretty shells that morning. I pulled out the beachy treasures I had brought home that day. He looked surprised as he surveyed the shells I held in my hand. I told him I was more drawn to the broken shells this trip. “There is beauty in the broken”, I explained. “You may have just found your next blog post,” Shawn replied.

There is a type of Japanese art called Kintsugi. For centuries, Japanese artisans have practiced the age-old tradition of using gold or other precious metals to “repair” broken pottery. Instead of cementing broken pieces together with an adhesive that would camouflage the fractures, these artists would highlight the pottery’s faults in such a way the pottery became a beautiful, one-of-a-kind, piece of art. These broken pieces would likely have previously been discarded. Now in the hands of the artist, they have been given a second, even more beautiful life.

My sister married a pharmacist. Little did we all know her husband would be a pharmacist by day and become a glass mosaic artist by night. Todd developed an interest in creating art with pieces of broken glass. His mosaics are simply amazing. Some of his mosaics contain over 40,000 pieces of glass, each piece painstakingly placed and glued by hand until Todd’s artistic vision is complete. Todd has had his mosaics shown in galleries across the country. He has attended conventions and demonstrated his techniques. He has sold some of his one-of-a-kind mosaics to lucky collectors. But the beauty of his mosaics is each one is made from glass that has been broken. Only an artist like Todd can look at broken glass and see the beauty of the final masterpiece before a single piece of glass is put in place.

“Somewhere” Mosaic by Todd Turner This is one of my very favorites. Check out his website at mosaicfanart.com

My fascination with the broken is no accident. Life is like the ocean waves and I am like a shell that has been hurled full force into the sand. I’ve been broken during that process. I’m confident you have felt the fury of life’s waves and have felt broken at some point, too. The high tide and pounding surf of life takes its toll on all of us. None of us escape unharmed. Some people may try to pass themselves off like the rare, perfect shells I saw on the beach during my vacation. But if we have lived any life at all, then we know some of those “perfect” shells are really just broken pieces glued together to camouflage the cracks we have earned on our journey. Fractured dreams, disappointments, disillusionment, disease and even death can break us. Sometimes we become so broken we lose hope.

The Bible has much to say about our brokenness:

You are altogether beautiful, my darling. There is no flaw in you. Song of Solomon 4:7

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us. Ephesians 2:10

Did you hear that? God sees no flaw in you. You are beautiful in his eyes. He considers you a masterpiece. He has good things planned for you. Those cracks you see? The broken parts that make you feel less than? God fills those cracks just like the Japanese Kintsugi artists fill the pottery cracks with gold, giving us an even more beautiful tomorrow. The gold God uses to repair those cracks? It doesn’t just add beauty. It allows us to fulfill our purpose while making us stronger than we were before. Our strength isn’t ours. Our strength is provided by the generous strokes of the divine artist.

The Bible goes on to say: God will restore on us a crown of beauty in place of our ashes. Isaiah 61: 3b

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Even when our lives feel like they have gone up in flames, when there aren’t even pieces left but only ashes, God makes a promise. He promises to trade our ashes for beauty, because he makes EVERYTHING beautiful in its time. Not some of the things. Not someone else’s things. All the things. Everything will be made beautiful. That promise includes you and it includes me.

So have courage. If you are feeling broken today, if you feel discarded or you believe you lack value or worth, take some time to remember. Remember because of your brokenness, the beauty of your life will come in the divine artist’s time. We may get impatient. We may want things to happen according to OUR timetable. Let’s not forget the divine artist can see the entire masterpiece of our lives. He doesn’t see what we see. While we can only see the broken, his perspective is different. He sees how each piece fits together. He can already see the end result of the masterpiece of your life. Here’s a spoiler alert: In the eyes of the artist you are already a perfectly beautiful, priceless work of art. Let’s try to live our lives through the lens of the divine artist. There really is beauty in the broken if we take the time to look for it.

Big House

My girls and I took a wonderfully unexpected vacation last week. Our beach house was HUGE! That house made me start thinking about where we will live in Heaven. I hope you take a few minutes to read my thoughts about heaven and God’s Big House.

My girls and I were recently invited by some very generous family members to accompany them to Bonita Beach in Florida for an unexpected vacation. For those of you who haven’t been there, Bonita Beach is on the west side of the peninsula just south of Ft. Myers. This trip was such a gift to us. Because of COVID-19, our previously made plans to travel had been cancelled. We had resigned ourselves to the fact there would be no vacation for us this year. That all changed when we got the call about this opportunity. Imagine our surprise to learn our enormous beach house didn’t just have its own pool, it backed up to our own private private beach area. Take it from me, this is how you quarantine in style!

Arriving at The Biltmore Beach house in Bonita Beach.

When I say the house was enormous, I am not kidding. This house had three stories and an elevator. It had multiple balconies. It had a fourth floor watch tower complete with a telescope for additional star-gazing and long-range viewing of the gulf. When we arrived, we were shown to our own rooms on the second floor. This place was huge! There was room to spread out in our own space, but also to live communally with family. There were movie nights, games, and home-cooked meals at a big, big table. There were days at the pool, walks on the beach, intimate conversations, and lots and lots of laughter. What a week!

I posted a vacation photo on social media on one of the first nights we were there. I captioned the photo with one word: “Heaven”. I used that caption in a metaphorical kind of way. But after I did, I started thinking about Heaven. When I was a kid, I thought heaven sounded boring. My childlike mind envisioned white robes, halos, harps and floating clouds. I couldn’t imagine spending forever in that kind of space. Heaven sounded like the absence of fun.

The Bible has a lot to say about Heaven. These are some of Jesus’ own words in John 14: 2-3. “In my Father’s house are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” This passage used to confuse me. After all, how can there be many mansions IN a house? I know God is big enough that his house COULD contain mansions for all of us. Still, I couldn’t quite reconcile the thought of having my very own mansion IN God’s house.

Several years ago, a vocal group by the name of Audio Adrenaline released a song titled, “Big House.” The song received incredible radio airplay. Everyone who listened to Christian radio knew the song. Do you remember how everyone could sing along to the words to “Don’t worry. Be happy” or “Hakuna Matata” when these songs were released? “Big House” was that kind of song. The words were catchy.

“I don’t know where you lay your head
Or where you call your home
I don’t know where you eat your meals
Or where you talk on the phone
I don’t know if you got a cook
A butler or a maid
I don’t know if you got a yard
With a hammock in the shade

Come and go with me
To my Father’s house
Come and go with me
To my Father’s house

It’s a big, big house
With lots and lots of room
A big, big table
With lots and lots of food
A big, big yard
Where we can play football
A big, big house
It’s my Father’s house

All I know is a big ole house
With rooms for everyone
All I know is lots a land
Where we can play and run
All I know is you need love
And I’ve got a family
All I know is you’re all alone
So why not come with me?”

Songwriters: Kelly Nickels / Mick Cripps / Philip Lewis / Steve Riley / Traci Gunns Big House lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Songtrust Ave

First century Middle Eastern culture was a very patriarchal culture. It was also a very communal culture. When a son (usually around 18 years of age) became betrothed, or engaged, to a very young girl (usually around 11-12 years of age), his father would begin to add a room onto the family home for them to live in. When the room was finally ready and it met all the father’s specifications, he would tell his son to go get his bride. After the wedding, this young woman would leave her home and family and be assimilated as a member of her husband’s family. As additional babies were birthed, or more sons married, more rooms were added to make room for the growing family. They spent their lives in a BIG House that was also a loving, family community.

Jesus understood the culture of the day he was living in. He used an example he knew his disciples would understand. In his example, God represents the Father, Jesus represents the bridegroom, and we are the bride. When our room is finally ready, the Father will let Jesus know. Then he will come and get us so we can live where he lives. Forever home. Forever a family. Life in community. Belonging. Sharing purpose. Sharing laughter. Sharing love.

The newer THE MESSAGE Bible translates John 14:2-3 this way: “There is plenty of room for you in my Father’s home. If that weren’t so, would I have told you that I’m on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I’m on my way to get your room ready, I’ll come back and get you so you can live where I live.”

I still can’t fully understand what Heaven will be like. But I know this. I don’t need a mansion. I just need a room in God’s big house.

Now, where did I put that football?

Lessons From An Olive Tree

I used to live in the desert. For twelve years I called Tucson my home. Moving from the lush, green landscape of my Midwest birth to the Sonoran Desert was quite an adjustment. Admittedly, it took a year for my body and my heart to call that dry and arid location home. But slowly and steadily, I fell in love with the beauty of Arizona. Where else can you find ski resorts, the Grand Canyon, the Saguaro National Monument, an enormous meteor crater, a petrified forest and the red rocks of Sedona in one amazing state?

When friends and family would visit, I couldn’t wait to show off my beloved home. Still, of all the wonderful locations Arizona has to offer, the desert in Tucson has always been my favorite. When visitors would point out the “brown-ness” of the desert, I would be quick to point out the green of the Palo Verde trees and the majestic Saguaro cacti that dotted the land surrounding the city. When people would comment about the rocky terrain, I would direct their gaze to the mountain ranges that surround Tucson. I encouraged friends to visit in the springtime when the desert literally exploded with life and color.

Living in Tucson is a challenge for every living creature, plant or animal. The drought conditions and high temperatures can make survival difficult. Only the hardiest survive. But, oh how they survive. The fight to survive makes the landscape and the people who live there even more beautiful.

Psalm 52 makes me think of Tucson. Why? Because in verse 8 David says, “I am like an olive tree, thriving in the house of God.” The University of Arizona has an entire street lined with mature olive trees. Ancient Israel, also a desert, was filled with olive trees. Modern-day Israel is, too.

David’s statement about the olive tree really made me stop and think. I mean, what is so great about an olive tree that would make David make such an odd statement? The truth is, I am not a fan of olives. Never have been. I didn’t know much about the tree that grows them, either. I decided to dig deeper.

As it turns out, olive trees are amazing for a myriad of reasons. Let’s explore some of those reasons, shall we?

1. Olive trees live long lives and bear fruit (Yes, olives are a fruit) for most of their lives. These trees start bearing fruit at about the age of 5 years and continue to bear fruit until they are 1600-ish years old. The oldest olive tree was believed to be about 2000 years old.

It’s tempting for us to think that God can’t use us if we aren’t the right age. We may believe if we are too young or too old, we can’t make a difference in the life of our family, friends or world. The olive tree would disagree. It begins making olives in infancy and continues to bear fruit well into its senior adult years.

2. Olive trees are generous. It is not unusual for one olive tree to produce 400 pounds of olives per year. More mature trees birth even greater amounts of olives than that. In the Middle East in the first century, the Hebrew word for generous is “tzedakah”. To this day, the idiom used in Israel to discuss generosity involves having a “good eye.” Matthew 6:22 says, “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, you whole body will be full of light.” Generosity breeds light to our lives and to those who are the recipients of our generosity. I want to be known as someone who has a good eye.

3. Olive trees are un-parchable. Even in the worst drought conditions, they still survive. Have you ever felt like you were in a dry season? Maybe the dry season involved your parenting, your job, your finances, or your marriage? If you survived this season, you are like an olive tree.

4. Olive trees are indestructible. Their roots are so robust, even if the tree is destroyed down to ground level, it will regenerate a new tree above ground. This type of regeneration reminds me of the lizards my siblings and cousins would play with as a kid. If you picked the lizard up the wrong way, the tail would literally fall off. But don’t feel too sad for Mr. Lizard. God has given him the remarkable ability to grow a new tail. In terms of regeneration, even lizards can be like olive trees.

5. Finally, there is so much symbolism that comes from the olive tree. Its branch is a symbol of peace. Crowns fashioned from its branches were given to athletes to signify victory at early Olympic games. When its fruit is put under duress and crushed, it produces a pure oil that can be used to promote health through cooking. Its oil can also be used in religious ceremonies as a symbol of consecration or healing.

A dove with an olive branch signifying Peace. A wreath made from an olive branch signifying Victory.

“But I am like an olive tree,” David said.

David wrote Psalm 52 when he was on the run from King Saul. Saul had been anointed King of Israel by Samuel after the people of Israel revolted, saying they know longer wanted God to be their king. They announced they wanted a human king like all the other kingdoms they encountered. God gave them what they asked for in King Saul. Saul was handsome, standing heads above all others both in good looks and stature. But he stopped listening to God and eventually went literally crazy. In the middle of his insanity, he became very jealous of David and sought to kill him. After learning that a priest named Ahimelech had provided bread and a weapon at David’s request, King Saul had that priest and many others killed. Eighty-five priests in total were executed because that one priest assisted David.

These details form the backdrop of what was occurring when David wrote Psalm 52. While in the desert, both literally and figuratively, David wrote, “But I am like an olive tree, thriving in the house of God.” The environment was harsh. The ground was parched. The tree was burned to the ground. But David knew the roots remained and the tree would grow again. Years later, when David was king, God referred to David as a man after God’s own heart. He used David to bear much fruit via the Psalms we still can read today. He used David to establish a kingdom that honored him for many years. He used David to bring victory and peace to his people. Finally, God’s very own son, Jesus, was born from the very family line of David.

So, I have to agree with David. He really was like an olive tree.

When all is said and done, I may not like the taste of olives. But, I want to be like David. Why? Because I want to be like an olive tree, too. There really are so many lessons to learn.

That’s Amazing!

Have you ever been amazed? I mean really amazed? Have you ever been so taken with amazement you really didn’t have the words to even describe that feeling or emotion?

The dictionary describes being amazed as being “surprised” or “astonished.” I remember being amazed the first time I saw the Grand Canyon. The sheer size and scope of that incredibly majestic and beautiful landmark totally caught me off guard. Pictures of the canyon are pretty. But there is absolutely no way you can grasp even a small idea of the beauty and vastness of that famous landmark until you see it in person with your own eyes.

*Viewing sunset from Mather Point on the South Rim of the park. NPS/M.Quinn*

I also experienced amazement at the arrival of my three children. When my two home-grown kids arrived, it almost felt unbelievable to me this belly bump I had been sporting for 9 months resulted in the arrival of a tiny person. A tiny person who had grown inside of me! I didn’t carry my third child in my belly. I carried her in my heart as she was born in China. But her arrival was no less amazing. In a flag-lined government office in Nanning, I watched with amazement as a young woman, her nanny at the orphanage, walked in and placed this darling 11 month old baby in my arms to be mine forever. One moment an orphan. The very next moment a beloved daughter and sister. That office became my birthing room and that baby was mine before I ever touched foot on Chinese soil.

The Bible says Jesus was amazed…twice! Let’s stop right here for a minute. Does it amaze you to know that Jesus was amazed? If you are at all like me, you will find that simple fact, well, simply amazing.

First, Jesus was amazed by the faith of the Roman Centurion in Luke 7:1-10. In ancient Rome, the term, Centurion, meant Captain of 100+ soldiers. This Centurion had a servant he greatly valued who had become ill and was potentially on his deathbed. After consulting with some Jewish leaders about this Jesus he had heard about, he asked them to speak with Jesus about healing his servant. Because of the favor this Centurion had shown the Jewish people, the leaders did as he asked. As a result, Jesus headed towards the home of the Centurion.

The Bible says, “When he (Jesus) was still quite far from the house, the Centurion sent friends to tell him, “Master, you don’t have to go to all this trouble. I’m not that good a person, you know. I’d be embarrassed for you to come to my house, even embarrassed to come to you in person. Just give the order and my servant will get well. I’m a man under orders; I also give orders. I tell one soldier, ‘Go,’ and he goes; another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

“When Jesus heard this, HE WAS AMAZED. Turning to the crowd that was following Him, He said, ‘I tell you, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel!’ And when the officer’s friends returned to his house, they found the slave completely healed.”

The second time Jesus was amazed is found in Mark 6:1-6. Jesus returned to his home town of Nazareth and began teaching in the synagogue there. While a few people who heard him were impressed, most who heard him were offended. They started saying things like, “Isn’t this the carpenter who used to work here?” Isn’t this Mary’s son?” Isn’t this the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon?” “We know his sisters for Pete’s sake!” Who does his think he is?

The Bible says, “Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” And because of their unbelief, he couldn’t do any miracles among them except to place his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And HE WAS AMAZED at their unbelief.”

So, now we know. The two things that amazed Jesus in the Bible were 1.) The incredible faith of the Roman Centurion and 2.) The lack of faith of the people of Jesus’ hometown of Nazareth.

My takeaway from these two stories is if Jesus is going to be amazed by me (and I hope he is), I want it to be for my deep, incredible faith and not because of my lack of faith.

During the many seasons of my life, the truth is he has probably been amazed at me for both reasons. Maybe the same is true for you. During this 2020 season of hard, I am trying to be intentional by leaning into my faith.

Here’s an idea. Why don’t we work on this together? Let’s make it a practice to ask God to enlarge our faith DESPITE what our eyes see or our ears hear. Let’s not form our theology based on what the news says, our friends say, or what social media says. Let’s base our faith on what God says. If there is one thing I know, it is God is a promise keeper. If he says it, he is going to do it. He won’t lie to me. He won’t lie to you. We can count on him to keep his promises to us. That knowledge boosts our confidence and will allow us to amaze God for the right reason…..our incredible faith.

Do you have 20/20 vision in 2020?

I got new glasses this week. I knew it was time to schedule another annual vision exam because of the tell-tale signs. Blurry vision, tired eyes and headaches had started to plague my senses. It became much harder to see clearly in the dark. After my exam, my optometrist dialed my new eye prescription into his fancy contraption. Then he asked me to read the familiar letters on the wall. As I looked through the lenses, the letters that had just been blurry could now be read with no problem at all. The doctor happily exclaimed, “With this new prescription, your vision is 20/20 again.”

For those who aren’t quite sure what 20/20 vision means, below is how the internet defines this term:

“Normal” vision is 20/20. This means the people having their eyes tested can see the same line of letters at 20 feet that a person with normal vision can see at 20 feet. 20/40 vision means a person can see at 20 feet what a person with normal vision can see at 40 feet.

With my new glasses, I can see clearly again. Having 20/20 vision is a wonderful thing!

But what about the vision we all had at the beginning of this year? I am not talking about our eyesight this time. I am referring to our hopes and dreams for the actual year of 2020. I remember December 31, 2019…New Year’s Eve. Our house was full of teenagers. Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve was playing on the TV. There was laughter and sparkling grape juice in fancy glasses. There was the countdown to midnight, noise makers, and silly hats. There were photos and people loudly yelling “Happy New Year!”

2020 was supposed to be a big year in our family. It was supposed to be momentous. One of my children is graduating from high school. There was an international mission trip with a youth group planned. The tennis team at the high school showed great promise for an incredible season. There was cheerleading tryouts scheduled and a senior prom to attend. There was a LIVE May graduation set to occur, and graduations parties to schedule. There were college choices to make and a long-awaited pilgrimage to Israel to take.

Then the world came to a screeching halt when the novel coronavirus became a global pandemic. Fear gripped our world as we all began living in unprecedented times that included state-mandated quarantine and toilet paper shortages. Life became dark and the days became monotonous as one day blurred into the next. The stock market crashed. Our eyes grew tired from increasing screen time and burned from the occasional tears that were shed as we contemplated the life that we once took for granted but was no more, at least for this season. The world grew darker. With each passing news cycle, the news worsened. Death counts rose.

Racial injustices occurred. Lives were lost. Families were left grieving with no answers. There were riots, looting, and cries for justice. The world continued to grow darker as hopelessness, despair, anger and bitterness fed our need for change.

But other things happened, too. Beautiful things. Things that brought hope and connection. Gifts began arriving for our high school senior from her church community, from family, and from friends. We explored new ways to connect via technology that has kept our small group community engaged and involved. We’ve learned to play games with people in other locations via video conferencing. My husband and I did not lose our jobs and have continued to be able to work. Cheer leading was rescheduled. So was graduation, to allow for a LIVE graduation later in the summer. Our youngest began driving. There was a home-grown prom that took place with our girl and a few of her school friends. I began leading a virtual women’s study online, allowing women from a few states and time zones to attend and learn together. Our college-aged son moved back home, meaning our family is all back under one roof again. We celebrated our wedding anniversary and I celebrated both my birthday and Mother’s Day while in quarantine. You know what? These were some of the sweetest, most meaningful celebrations we have had in years. The world has been dark. Life has been hard. But there has been light and mercy visible in every single day.

I am the Light of the world
Jesus

The darkness of our current situation has drudged up a memory from my college years…a time, just for a moment, when I experienced literal, physical darkness. I had travelled with several friends to a camp named Ridgecrest in North Carolina. One night we decided as a group to get up very early the next morning, while it was still dark, and climb up to the top of a mountain to watch the sunrise.

I had no idea what I had signed up for. I was completely unaware of how difficult the climb would be. We started off together as a group, but some of us were slower and less adept at climbing, so soon we found ourselves lagging behind the faster climbers. To make matters worse, none of us in the slower group had flashlights. We were walking blind, in the pitch-blackness, up a mountain. Our saving grace was that occasional beam of light seen from a flashlight carried by the group that had gone ahead of us. Our group was not aware of the potential danger because our eyes were focused on the light. Those beams of light, flashing across the sky like a light saber in the Star Wars franchise, served as a beacon to keep us on the trail and to allow us to reach the top of the mountain in one piece.

It wasn’t until we began our descent back down the mountain, as the sun rose in the sky above us, that I realized how potentially precarious our climb had been. The downed trees, mountain crevices and rock outcroppings we had not seen during our climb because of the early morning darkness were now in full view. The revelation of the presence of these potentially dangerous barriers was eye-opening and made me even more grateful for the morning light. It was this light that made the path clear and kept us safe on our way back to camp.

The Bible talks a lot about light. That’s because light brings clarity. Light brings perspective. Light brings direction. Light brings salvation. So, it should come as no surprise to hear Jesus say, in the gospel of John 8:17, “I am the light of the world.” He goes on to say, “If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”

Some people are offended when Jesus speaks of being the light of the world. This Jesus girl isn’t one of those people. Because once you have experienced darkness, both literally (Remember that mountain?) and figuratively (Hello, 2020!), you begin to realize how precious that light is. It doesn’t just bring life. It provides perspective. It makes the blurry things crystal clear.

So, how do we achieve 20/20 vision in 2020? We get to know the Light of the world. He doesn’t promise an easy journey. But His light will provide perspective and direction every step of the way.

I See You

COVID-19, sheltering at home and quarantine has caused many of us to share tight quarters with those we love. But close quarters for long periods of time can cause us to begin to focus on ourselves and our needs instead of seeing those who are physically right in front of us. Conversely, some of us are quarantined alone, hearing the deafening silence as we long for someone to share space with who will see us and bring comfort in our time of isolation.

I see you. Have you felt overlooked or invisible? Have you felt like those closest to you don’t know or see the real you? Your dreams? Your emotions? Your struggles? Your fears? Are you longing to be seen, just you, in your purest form?

These questions makes me think of the movie, “Avatar”. This movie’s dialogue features a very prominent phrase: “I see you.” Instead of saying “I love you”, the two main characters, as they fall in love, say “I see you” to each other. But the context of this phrase means so much more than love. It is a verbal confirmation of a bond that is emotional, spiritual and physical. It is confirmation that the person who hears that phrase isn’t just seen but is heard and loved in the deepest and most intimate of ways.

There’s a story in the Bible in the Old Testament about a servant girl named Hagar. Hagar was the servant of Sarah, Abraham’s wife. God had promised to make Abraham a great nation. Yet because he and Sarah were old and infertile, they decided to take matters into their own hands instead of trusting God to allow Sarah to bear a child. Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham with the hopes Hagar would become pregnant.

The plan worked. But once Hagar was pregnant, there was fighting and conflict between her and Sarah. Tensions escalated so badly between the two of them, Hagar ran away into the desert. A pregnant woman, alone in the heat of the desert, is a recipe for disaster or maybe even death. Thankfully, Hagar found a stream. While she was resting there, it says in Genesis 16 that an angel found her. The angel encouraged her to return to Sarah. The angel told Hagar she would have a son who would be the first of more descendants than she could even count. The angel told her to name her son “Ishmael”, which means “God hears”.

From that moment on, Hagar referred to God as “El Roi”, which means “The God who sees”. Hagar was acutely aware God hadn’t just heard her pleas for help, but had seen her in her distress. Hagar felt seen, heard and known by the God of the universe.

Nehemiah, the cup-bearer (think secret service agent), to the king of Persia prayed this prayer in the Book of Nehemiah, verse 6. ‘O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps his promises, look down and “see” me praying night and day for your people.’ Nehemiah knew the secret. When God sees, He acts. Every time. No exception.

The 2020 Lyrid Meteor shower peaks this week. Some star gazers like to call this meteor shower “Old Faithful”. This nickname came about because you can count on the Lyrid Meteor Shower to return to the Earth’s atmosphere and show off every single year.

A couple of nights ago, I went outside about 10 pm, bundled up in a blanket and a knit cap. My son joined me, both of us on a quest to see a meteor streak across the sky. Sitting outside in the dark it was surprisingly quiet, although that quiet was interrupted by treasured and spontaneous conversation that sparked between Brock and me. We chatted as we allowed our eyes to adjust to the darkness while scanning the eastern sky.

“I just saw one!” Brock exclaimed excitedly, pointing to a part of the sky just to the right of where my eyes had been focused. “You did?”, I responded rather dejectedly. “Didn’t you see it, Mom?”, he asked. “No”, I said, but let’s sit out here a little bit longer. I’m sure there will be another one.”

We sat outside in the chilly night air for several more minutes until my darling boy said he was cold and was going to go inside to warm up. I told him I was going to stay outside and watch the sky just a little bit longer. I was cold, too, but I wanted to see a meteor. I NEEDED to see a meteor. Just one.

Once I was alone, as I continued to scan the night sky, I started a conversation with the One who made the stars. “I see You”, I began. “I see You in the flowers I saw coming to life along the path I walked today. I see You in this beautiful sky with all of the twinkling stars. But can I ask You a favor? I see You, but I really need to know You see me too…sitting right here…right now. The world has gone a little mad. In the middle of it all, please let me know you see me. Just one meteor. Please.”

I slumped down and let my head rest on the back of the bench. What I saw in that instant should come as no surprise. A meteor…just one…streaked across the sky. Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed this meteor burned just a little brighter and longer, a wink from El Roi, the God who sees. A wink to let a daughter know she was not only seen, but heard, loved and known . So how did this daughter respond? That’s easy. I smiled, whispered, “Thank you,” and walked back inside the warm house so my outside could match the warm I now felt inside too.

“I stopped waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and let God’s light set my heart on fire instead.”
House of Belonging

Surrounded

I’ve always been a lover of books. I can get lost in a good book and be transported to another time and place, becoming completely unaware of my current surroundings. One of my favorite authors is Bob Goff. Have you heard of him? When he publishes a new book, I can’t wait to read it.

A few days ago, Bob and his wife, Maria, did a LIVE talk on Instagram. Bob and Maria spoke about the challenges of self-quarantining. They offered encouragement to their listeners. Then Bob said something that stopped me in my tracks. I haven’t been able to get this quote out of my head. Bob said, “Let your THEOLOGY inform your FAITH, and your FAITH inform your FACE.”

Let your THEOLOGY inform your faith, and your FAITH inform your FACE.
Bob Goff

Isn’t that advice amazing? It is so easy to be sad, depressed, anxious, or maybe all three as we all live together-yet apart-during this unprecedented time. COVID-19 has become the great equalizer. It doesn’t matter where you live, how much money you make, or what your faith journey looks like. Some days it feels as if we are all surrounded while walking around with a target on our backs as the dreaded coronavirus locks us in his sights. “Let your THEOLOGY inform your FAITH, and your FAITH inform your FACE.”

How we present ourselves to our corner of the world has a direct impact on those we come in contact with at home, at work, or even at the grocery store. I remember being a student in nursing school. One of my instructors over-emphasized the importance of being aware, as healthcare workers, of the expressions on our face. Why was mastery of this lesson so important? Because the patients we care for, and their families, look for cues in our face to determine if they should be worried or scared during a healthcare crisis. So, my instructor reminded us over and over again to pretend we were holding up a quarter with each eyebrow. As long as our eyebrows stayed up, the quarters stayed in place. But if our eyebrows furrowed, in confusion or worry for our patient, the quarters would fall. We were encouraged to never let those quarters fall when in the presence of a patient.

As parents, we face the same kind of dilemma with our children. How do we present the realities of the world’s uncertainties and challenges while still projecting a face of calm and assurance? “Let your THEOLOGY inform your FAITH, and your FAITH inform you FACE.”

Where we look, what we spend our time gazing at, is where our attention and our emotions go. I have blogged before about a favorite bible teacher, Kristi McLelland, I have learned so much from her in the past couple of years. Kristi says as citizens of this world, we spend much of our time gazing at the world and only glancing at God. But how would our lives be transformed if we spent our lives gazing at God, and only glancing at the world?

As people of faith, we can rest in the fact that we are God’s kids. We can look in the face of our heavenly daddy. He’s not anxious. He’s not nervous or scared about anything that is going on right now. We can be confident that he’s still in charge of the world. He’s holding onto us.

There’s an old hymn that I used to sing in church when I was a little girl. We sang it so often in the little country church that I attended, I memorized the words. This song, entitled “Turn your Eyes upon Jesus”, was written in the early 1900’s by a woman named Helen Howarth Lemmel. The chorus goes like this:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim.

In the light of His glory and grace.

There’s an incredible story in the Bible in II Kings, chapter 6, that wraps all of my ramblings up in a tight, little bow. In this story, the king of Aram (now present-day Syria) was trying to attack and go to war with Israel. But a prophet, Elisha, kept foiling the king’s plans. Every time that king would give a military order, Elisha would let the king of Israel know the plan, and the Aram army would be unsuccessful in their attack.

Finally, exhausted by Elisha’s spoilers and more than a little angry, the king of Aram ordered his troops to proceed to the city of Dothan, where Elisha lived with his servant. The mighty army of horses and chariots arrived in the darkness of night, surrounding the city and Elisha.

In the morning, the servant looked outside and was terrified to see the entire city surrounded by this army of fierce warriors. He ran to tell Elisha they were surrounded. Elisha responded with calm and assurance, “Don’t be afraid. Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Then Elisha prayed, asking God to open the servant’s eyes to allow him to see the true reality of what was happening in that moment.

When the servant looked again, he still saw the enemy army. But this time he could also see the enemy army was surrounded by a mighty, heavenly army of horses and chariots of fire.

Does it feel like the walls of fear, or quarantine, or financial concerns are closing in on you? Are you feeling defeated today by an enemy that leaves you feeling trapped, hopeless and surrounded? I challenge you to pray the prayer Elisha prayed. Ask God to open your eyes to allow you to see the true reality of your situation, HIS reality.

There is a song I love to sing called “Surrounded”. Several people have recorded it in recent years. Michael W. Smith is one of these people. I really like his version and will sometimes listen to this song on repeat when I need to be reminded of who I’m really surrounded by. Some of the words go like this:

It may look like I’m surrounded.

But I’m surrounded by you.

This is how I fight my battles.

https://www.youtube.com /watch?v=YBl84oZxnJ4

Here’s a link to MWS singing “Surrounded”. Have a listen!

The battle you are fighting today isn’t up to you to win. Remember who is really fighting on your behalf. Then, as I heard someone say recently, put on your dancing shoes, because this battle has already been won. Much love, friends.

Who’s in Your Corner?

I love movies! I remember heading to the theater with a friend to watch the newly released movie, Rocky III. That night, by the time the plot had moved us to the boxing match scene at the climax of the movie, everyone in that fully packed, busting-at-the-seams auditorium was sitting on their edge of their seats.

You see, Rocky had lost a match earlier in the movie. It was important match. But his beloved trainer, Mickey, had a heart attack right before the earlier match. Rocky was so distracted with worry during the match, he lost by a knockout in the second round. When he returned to the training room, his dying trainer asked who had won. Rocky responded the match had ended in the second round with a knockout punch, leaving Mickey to believe he had won.

Time passed and Rocky grieved. He became depressed. He gave up and stopped fighting. It wasn’t until he met his former rival, Apollo Creed, that things began to change. Apollo encouraged and challenged Rocky. He believed in him. He agreed to not only train Rocky, but to stand in his corner, in the ring, during his next big fight. By the end of that movie, the entire movie auditorium was literally chanting “Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!” on repeat. It was a surreal experience, that night at the theater. We all got to collectively see and experience vicariously how a life can change when someone is willing to stand in the corner and fight for their friend.

Fast forward to today. The world has gone more than a little mad. Words like pandemic, social distancing, quarantine, COVID-19, Wuhan, and shelter in place have become commonplace. Schools are closed indefinitely, with online education being introduced to students with cabin-fever. Restaurants are shuttered to any service but takeout. Daycare facilities are closing, leaving solo parents with limited options. Church families are meeting in homes and online. Hospital resources are stretched to the max. With all of the chaos, it is easy to feel like Rocky after that first fight. Not even making it to the third round, we are distracted, losing our focus and experiencing a knockout from life that we didn’t even see coming. We become anxious, depressed, and worried. Panic may set in. We may ultimately decide to stop fighting, becoming too tired to fight alone. It feels as if there is no one in our corner.

I was thinking about this very thing this morning as I was getting ready for work. I picked up my phone and was reminded of what Moses told the Israelites in Exodus 14:14. He said, “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

Those words from Moses were a tall order for the Israelites. The Pharaoh, under duress as a result of a string of terrible plagues sent by God to Egypt, had finally allowed the Israelites to leave the country where they had served for years as slave laborers. There were a lot of Israelites. Probably close to a million. They had barely been gone when the Pharaoh regretted his decision and decided to send his army of soldiers with chariots to pursue the Israelites and bring them back. This is the circumstance that prompted Moses’ exhortation to God’s people. The people found themselves between the Red Sea, which they had no ability to cross, and the Pharaohs army. They were trapped, in uncharted territory, and with no way out. They were scared out of their minds, wondering if there was someone – anyone – in their corner. Does that sound familiar?

Let me share Moses’ statement to the people again. He said, “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Not only did the Israelites have someone in their corner, they had someone who was going to enter the ring and do the fighting for them!

I love this story so much. It reminds me, when life is hard or scary, of who is actually doing the fighting for me. That knowledge takes the pressure off of me. It gives me perspective and hope. There are times, often when life’s fighting is most intense, when all God is asking me to do is just breathe in and out, stay calm, and trust Him to do what He does best.

Ironically, in Exodus 14:15, the verse after the one where Moses tells the people to stay calm, God says to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving.” So, move they did, straight toward the shores of the Red Sea. The priests walked in front, carrying the Ark of God’s covenant. It took more faith than I can imagine for those priests to walk into the waters at the end of the Red Sea. But the minute they did, the water’s parted and all of God’s people walked across the DRY sea bottom to the other side, allowing them to escape the army bearing down on them.

What does all of this mean? I think it means that sometimes there is a time to rest, be calm and trust in God’s assurances and protection. But sometimes it’s time to move, to act, and to put feet to our faith. The challenge is having the wisdom to know which time we are in right now.

Take a few minutes and ask God to give you peace. Go even further than that. Ask him to fill you with Shalom, a peace that is full of the complete blessing of God. Then ask him how you can put feet to your faith, even from the confines of your home. This world is full of hurting people who believe there is no one in their corner. We have the opportunity to walk alongside them. Remember, you aren’t alone in the ring. This fight is going to go all 12 rounds. Just stay calm.

Mary and the Difficult “Yes”

I have always deeply identified with the Mary of The Bible. Do you know which Mary I am referring to? Jesus’ mother? As a young teen, I would sit at night in our darkened living room, listening to Christmas music and thinking about what it must have felt like when the angel, Gabriel, came to visit her over 2000 years ago. Later, as a young married woman and as a new mom, I remember playing the role of Mary in our church Christmas pageant. My first-born son, at 3 months old, even played baby Jesus. For way too many years, I had a nativity-scene picture of what that first Christmas must have looked like. In my mind, the sights, smells, and singing angels all were enveloped in an ethereal, rosy glow.

Today is the first day of Advent. As a child, Advent meant little more to me than listening to a boring reading and lighting a special candle in church every Sunday in December. As an adult, Advent has come to mean so much more than that. The word, advent, refers to the introduction of something important. In many Christian churches, Advent involves waiting expectantly for the commemoration of Jesus’ birthday.

As I have begun pondering the Advent season, my thoughts turned again to Mary. My previous, glamorized version of this young woman and her life could not have been any more off the target. As a matter of fact, in looking at the many amazing women in the bible, Mary, the mother of Jesus, may have given the most difficult “Yes” in bible history.

Women born into the first century middle east were born into an honor/shame culture. Women fell at the bottom of that spectrum. They had no rights and were frequently treated in the most abhorrent ways. There was literally a prayer that Jewish men would pray on a daily basis. The prayer went something like this: “Thank you, God, for blessing me by not making me a Gentile, a slave, or a woman.”

Mary was born in a time where honor killings occurred. Women and girls who were perceived to bring shame on the family were often victims of these killings Men had the right to divorce their wife for something as silly and insignificant as burning dinner. Girls were betrothed (engaged to be married) as young as 11,12 or 13 years of age. Once a girl reached reproductive maturity and was able to bear a child, the bridegroom would arrive, and the wedding would occur.

The early marriage of a daughter was so prized, that in the Talmud (a written compilation of rabbis in history debating what the Hebrew bible says), it is written that it is better for a father to free one of his slaves for his daughter to marry if she is not betrothed and married by the age of 12 and one-half years. Can you imagine?

Mary’s story is introduced in the first chapter of Luke. It is here we learn that Mary is betrothed to a young man named Joseph. Did you catch that? Mary was betrothed…not yet physically mature enough to be married! Mary was incredibly young, probably a tween by today’s standards. When I played the role of Mary, I was probably 2.5-3 times older than her actual age when Gabriel came to visit her with some very big news. Mary was a virtual girl-child in a world that did not favor women. So, when the angel, Gabriel, shows up, calls her by name and tells her she is favored by God, it rocks her world more than a little. Mary finds herself being honored, seen and spoken to by this special angel in a way she has never experienced before.

Gabriel has a lot to say. You know the story. He explains to Mary that through the Holy Spirit, she will become pregnant with the Son of God. He instructs her to name the baby, Jesus. When she asks how it is possible that she will become pregnant while she is still betrothed, a virgin and not yet married, he responds reassuringly, “Nothing is impossible with God.”

Can you feel the holy tension and divine love in that room in that moment? Mary has a big decision to make…a life-altering decision. She may be young, but she knows the world she lives in. She knows that an unwed mother in her world would bring shame on her family. She knows the dire consequences that this circumstance could bring. She could have said, “No.” I wonder if she considered that option? What I know is what history records. Mary said, “Yes.” Her actual words to Gabriel went something like, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.”

The story doesn’t stop here. The Bible goes on to detail how, just a few days later, Mary hurries south from her town of Nazareth to Judea, where her cousin Elizabeth lived. This wasn’t a simple, friendly family visit. This was Mary fleeing for her life. Maybe her family didn’t believe her story. Maybe she was afraid to tell them she was having a baby.

Her time with her cousin provided not just safety, but support (Elizabeth was pregnant, too) and confirmation that what Gabriel said was really true.

Coincidentally, I recently learned from a trusted bible teacher that there is no Hebrew word for the name, “Mary”. It is believed that her name was actually “Miriam”. Her name was changed to Mary when the Anglicized translation of The Bible was published in the early 1600s.

How about you? Has God asked you a question that requires a difficult “Yes?” Saying YES doesn’t mean that life will be easy. YES sometimes means taking the long way, making the uphill climb, or facing a big challenge with courage you don’t think you possess.

But Mary’s story inspires me. Think about it. When God gives out some of his most important kingdom adventures, He gives them to girls. Just ask Mary.

Painting: “The Virgin Mary Consoles Eve”
I love this painting. It shows Eve, the mother of humanity, the accomplice to Adam in introducing sin into the world, with her hand on Mary’s pregnant belly and the serpent wrapped around her leg. Meanwhile, Mary is comforting her through her touch and her presence. Mary’s foot is crushing the head of the serpent. One mother birthed sin. The other mother is preparing to birth the lamb of God who will take away the sin of the world. THIS is what happens when we have the courage to say the difficult “Yes”.

Speak Life

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

My parents repeated these words to me over and over again. I didn’t fully comprehend the meaning of these words when I was younger. Even now, I am not always successful at following this instruction. But that frequent parental reminder from many years ago has recently taken on new life for me.

The Bethel Artist Music collective was in Nashville two weeks ago. I was invited to attend their concert with a few family and friends. I walked into the concert venue, The Grand Ole Opry House, expecting to be entertained. That mission was certainly accomplished. But I didn’t expect to walk out transformed with such fresh vision about the power conveyed in the words I speak. Every song they sang, every word they spoke, and every prayer they prayed was life-giving. The spirit of God spoke to me that night. He didn’t speak in an audible voice, but he repeated these words to me over and over during my drive home, as I fell asleep that night, and as I woke up the next morning. In fact, he has continued to repeat these words to me every day since then. What are these words? SPEAK LIFE.

Grand Ole Opry with my handsome date (and son) – October 2019

It’s a simple concept really, to speak words that encourage, lift up, support, and empower people to move towards becoming and doing what God intends for them…intends for all of us. But this concept is not always as simple to put into practice. We are sometimes wired to speak the worst and not the best about other people, and even about ourselves. Our mind hears the words that we say about ourselves. Then our mind starts believing those words, setting us up for anxiety, fear, and depression.

I watched at the Bethel concert with amazement as one of the singers named Jen, between songs, said, “Is there someone in the audience named Katie – with a K?” Out of a few thousand people in the sold-out crowd at the Grand Ole Opry, one woman several rows in front of me raised her hand. The singer continued, “I just feel like we are supposed to pray for you. Will everyone join me in praying blessings over Katie with a K?” As she started praying, she stopped and said, “Katie, I don’t know why, but in my mind I am seeing artwork hanging all over the walls of your house. Are you an artist?” Katie amazingly responded that she was, and the singer prayed blessings over not only Katie, but over her ministry of artistry, that people would be blessed by the offerings of her talent.”

I imagine Katie with a K left that auditorium changed forever because of the words of life spoken over her by someone she had never before met. Words have power. How we use them is up to us.

I once heard the story of a young man who approached a Rabbi, asking for help in reconciling with someone. The young man explained that he had said something hurtful, and the person who had been hurt refused to forgive him. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t take the errant words back, since he had apologized for his verbal indiscretion.

The Rabbi instructed the young man to bring him a feather pillow. He followed the Rabbi’s instruction, returning with a pillow full of feathers. The Rabbi instructed him to cut the pillow open and pour out the feathers. The young man did as he was told. As the shredded pillow was shaken, feathers flew in every direction. Some scattered hundreds of yards away. Some were lifted up by the wind, ending up at the top of the tallest trees.

The young man looked at the Rabbi and said, “What do I do now?” The Rabbi replied, “Now go retrieve all of the feathers.” “How is that even possible?”, the young man exclaimed in dismay. “The feathers have spread everywhere. Some have blown away, and some are out of reach. I will never be able to collect them all now that they have been released from the pillow.”

“Such is the fate of the words we speak”, declared the wise Rabbi. “You may be able to collect some of the words you have spoken, but others are now out of reach for retrieval.” Finally, the young man understood the weight of the words he had spoken that caused so much pain to his friend.

I can relate to that young man. I have blurted words that I have regretted more times than I can count or care to admit. I’m a recovering “blurter”. That’s why I have become so conscious of the importance of becoming intentional about using my words to encourage others.

Anecdotally, an incident occurred just this past week that further illustrates this point. A well-known pastor from California, during a celebration of his 50 years in ministry, was asked in front of a large audience to play a word association game. He was given several words and phrases and was asked to give an off-the-cuff response to each. Knowing that he was a proponent of churches that allow only men to preach, the person engaging him on stage said the name of a well-known, female bible teacher as part of the word association “game.” The pastor’s immediate response upon hearing her name? “Go home.”

This conversation has been shared on social media tens of thousands of times since it occurred. Those two words, “go home”, have ignited a firestorm on twitter. (Can you see the feathers flying?) Even words spoken flippantly can be incredibly divisive. I love what author Sarah Bessey had to say about the entire “Go Home” debacle. She said, “You know who never told women to go home? JESUS.”

I don’t want this post to turn into a feminist attack. That’s not the intent or the message. But I hope this last example will serve as a cautionary tale of how words can heal, or words can hurt.

I read the book of Proverbs almost every month. There are thirty-one chapters, so it is a book that is nearly perfect for a monthly read of one chapter a day. I was struck earlier this month by the simplicity of chapters 3 and 4. These chapters discuss the importance of chasing after kindness, loyalty, wisdom, understanding, good judgment and common sense. These chapters urge the reader to pursue these qualities, promising a good reputation and a long life for those who possess them. But I think these qualities also lend themselves to the ability to speak life to those living within our area of influence. The bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, our mouth speaks. If our heart is filled with kindness, loyalty and understanding, our words will be, too.

How am I putting what I am writing about into practice? “Baby steps” is the answer. I am learning to look the strangers in the eye who are riding with me in an elevator. I smile and wish them a great day if they exit before me. I tell my waiter at the restaurant what a good job he is doing serving my table. I check in with the Vietnamese woman at the nail salon, asking how her son is doing in college and if her daughter has taken her ACT test. I really listen to her response, trying to understand every word despite her thick accent. I thank her for always taking care of me with a smile.

These kindnesses sound insignificant. But they let people know they are seen and have value. So, here’s the challenge. Is there someone you can encourage today? Kindness is contagious in the most wonderful ways. I hope you decide to join me in this kindness experiment. Let’s speak life together, shall we? The world can use all of the encouragement it can get.